Poppy seeds, part II

           God has been our fortress, our defender, and has been so faithful as we have faced infertility and moved through this entire process. We had perfect little poppy seed-sized embryos!  Josh and I are amazed, and so very grateful.

            When we arrived at the clinic on Friday morning, I was almost giddy to find out how our embryos had done and to get them transferred inside me. When we got all dressed in surgery gear, the doctor pulled out a picture and handed it to Josh: two perfect “grade A+” 5-day embryos. The doctor told us he had never seen such healthy, textbook grade embryos. They have perfect forms, tight cells in an inner formation (which becomes the baby), fluid sac (which becomes the amniotic sac), and outer layer (which becomes the placenta). Again, we were amazed, and so very grateful. The transfer went smoothly and soon I was flat on my back for recovery.

Pre-transfer (all dressed up!)

       

Ready for the transfer!

Our poppy seeds in utero (that little white shooting star at the top of the curve is them)

            And so we wait. Our little poppy seeds are trying to implant and take root inside me. We received news today that we have four additional healthy embryos that were successfully frozen for future transfers! Amen!

            In the waiting, I return to faith. This week I have been increasingly to have deep faith. I pray to know that the love and peace of God that surpasses all understanding, no matter what happens. The love of our God for Joshua and me is unshakeable. As hard as it is to say, we will trust in God’s love no matter the outcome of this fertility adventure. If we have twins at the end of this, we will trust in God’s wide love. If we have one baby, we will still trust in the long and high love of our God. And if, at the end of all this, we do not have a baby at all, it is my prayer that we will still rest and abide in the depth of the love of our God.

            The final verses from Ephesians 3 have given me strengthen and filled me with the joy of our God this week. I have been praying them over our family:  “I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide, and long, how high and deep is the love of Christ, and to KNOW this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Paul is speaking here to the church, encouraged the Body of Christ to find its strength and its very being in the love of Christ.

            But in this moment, I sense God saying to my soul may your brand new family, built on Christ’s love, find its continued strength in the love of Christ, a love that surpasses knowledge and all circumstances.  Yes, we will choose to trust in this deep love. I know it is a bold prayer, and may be uncomfortable to truly pray and really mean, but that is my heart’s cry as we wait on God to grow our poppy seed babies according to his plan and his will.

              What is truly incredible, though is the confidence and the manner of the love of God. The next verse in Ephesians makes it so clear: “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine, according to his power, which is at work in us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever. Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21) After all of that talk about relying on God’s love for us in every circumstance, then we get the reassurance: He is ABLE to do more than we could even ask or imagine! And how does he do it?? He does it mostly through the Body of Christ. Through flesh and blood love being shown by ordinary people living out the love of God. 

            And that has been our story: the story of faith, love and babies on this infertility journey has been the love and support of the people around us (near and far) at every single stage. Praise God for every meal, every prayer, every hug and kiss, every spa day (ok, only one spa day!), every injection, every encouraging word, and on and on. You, my friends, have shown us how wide, and high and long, and deep is the love of our God.

The depth, height, and width of God's love (Atlantic Ocean, Monrovia, Liberia- NOTE the photo from the last post was Lagoa, Buzios, Brazil)

            Find your strength in the love of God and may your faith be rekindled today as you recognize just how much his love surrounds you each and every day. Thanks for your continued prayers and love, friends.